Now that I've set the morbid tone for this post, let's dive right into the Final Four of "Better" Fast Food, which is also near and dear to my heart. And when I say better, I'm essentially saying that the food costs a bit more and the employees that operate these fine establishments are just slightly more pleasant to deal with than the traditional fast food places of Mickey D's, BK, and so on. And instead of making you read to see the "teams" that made it out of the Elite 8 and into the Final Four, I'll just tell you up front that the contenders are Five Guys, Chipotle, Checkers, and Fatburger. Not gonna lie, this bracket might be tougher than the first one!
Five Guys is easily the most expensive contender in the Final Four. For someone like me it is near impossible to go to a Five Guys and not spend between $10-$15. That's not a ton of money to spend on a meal, but you'd expect to pay that at a chain restaurant and not a fast food place. Going with that, I'm never fully satisfied when I leave because I'm not full. I'll go up to the counter, order my bacon cheeseburger with a bunch of stuff on it (love the fact that their cheeseburger is actually a double cheeseburger and a Jr. cheeseburger is a single), get a medium order of Cajun fries, and then stand for 5-10 minutes and wait to get my grease stained bag. Then I'll sit down and go beast mode on it because the food there is legit incredible and I'll be done eating in half the time it took me to stand in line, order my food, and sit down with it. That's not the bad part. The bad part is that after I demolish the burger and fries I always feel like I just got there. No knowledge of what just happened, no feeling like I just ate, no sense of being full. I mean, it's not like I go there and pretend to eat, but I literally never feel full after eating Five Guys.
Sounds like a lot of negatives, but their burgers are some of the best burgers I've ever eaten. There are other rare "better" fast food places like Shake Shack and Smashburger that can hang with Five Guys, but not everyone who reads this blog will know those places so Five Guys can stand alone. One other nugget of information is that when you go to a Five Guys, you should never order anything larger than a small or medium fry. If you do, no offense, but you're a moron. No matter what, you're going to get the equivalent of a large fry or greater. The fact that they fill your fry cup up then add an extra shovel full of fries to the top of your bag brings tears to my eyes. Also, I do not care for the peanuts they have... just thought I should mention it.
Sounds like a lot of negatives, but their burgers are some of the best burgers I've ever eaten. There are other rare "better" fast food places like Shake Shack and Smashburger that can hang with Five Guys, but not everyone who reads this blog will know those places so Five Guys can stand alone. One other nugget of information is that when you go to a Five Guys, you should never order anything larger than a small or medium fry. If you do, no offense, but you're a moron. No matter what, you're going to get the equivalent of a large fry or greater. The fact that they fill your fry cup up then add an extra shovel full of fries to the top of your bag brings tears to my eyes. Also, I do not care for the peanuts they have... just thought I should mention it.
Chipotle brings a little spice to this bracket similar to what Taco Bell did for the last one. In a battle of burgers, this Cinderella has the potential to make it all the way. The big reason why I like Chipotle is simple. I order exactly what I want when I want it and it's made fresh right in front of me. There's no need to worry about mystery meat or rat burgers or any of that crap here. Let me warm up a nice flour tortilla, throw some chicken AND steak (some decisions in life are too tough), vegetables (if you're into that kind of thing), some rice, beans, and guacamole, and essentially have a burrito that can be mistaken for a tiny infant baby. The downside here is that's all I get. No sides, no desserts, nothing special outside of a pretty hefty burrito. It's definitely filling, especially when you load it up like I do, but there's nothing flashy here. Chipotle is a grind it out, defensive minded team made up of role players that just goes out there, gets the job done, and goes home.
If you haven't eaten at Checkers then I seriously don't want to be your friend. You might laugh at what I just said, but I mean it. I'll actually be nice and give you two options. #1- never speak to me again. #2- text, call, email, face-time, smoke signal, send a carrier pigeon, page me, write a letter, or whatever you can think of to get in touch with me and we can go to Checkers together and thus I won't hate you anymore.
There are so many things that I love about Checkers, but to sum it up in one word, Checkers has options. You know what you're going to get when you go to Five Guys or Chipotle, but Checkers is a fantasy land where the options soar as high as your meat and cheese filled dreams. They have the top Player of the Year candidate in a little somethin somethin they call the Bacon Roadhouse. Google an image of that IMMEDIATELY because it's a double bacon cheeseburger on I believe toasted sourdough bread with BBQ sauce on the bottom, onion straws on top, with some sort of ranch based sauce on the ceiling. If that doesn't wet your whistle you could also go with the proven veteran of the team in the Baconzilla.
Beyond burgers, Checkers has a variety of chicken and fish inspired sandwiches that I don't really pay attention to, but they also have WINGS. You might be skeptical, but they make their wings with Frank's Hot Sauce. No idea why every place on Earth that serves food doesn't offer Frank's, but Checkers does. They bring the fire with their wings, but they also have bacon/cheese/ranch fries (a better trio than LeBron, Wade, Bosh or any other combo of 3), potato skins, 4 different flavored shakes, and apple pies. What kills me about Checkers is that there isn't one close by. I know they're mostly down south, but move up north! Bristol did get one so I'm thrilled about that, but Enfield, CT was rumored to get one a year ago and we got nothin! If the food isn't accessible then how can it be the champion?
There are so many things that I love about Checkers, but to sum it up in one word, Checkers has options. You know what you're going to get when you go to Five Guys or Chipotle, but Checkers is a fantasy land where the options soar as high as your meat and cheese filled dreams. They have the top Player of the Year candidate in a little somethin somethin they call the Bacon Roadhouse. Google an image of that IMMEDIATELY because it's a double bacon cheeseburger on I believe toasted sourdough bread with BBQ sauce on the bottom, onion straws on top, with some sort of ranch based sauce on the ceiling. If that doesn't wet your whistle you could also go with the proven veteran of the team in the Baconzilla.
Beyond burgers, Checkers has a variety of chicken and fish inspired sandwiches that I don't really pay attention to, but they also have WINGS. You might be skeptical, but they make their wings with Frank's Hot Sauce. No idea why every place on Earth that serves food doesn't offer Frank's, but Checkers does. They bring the fire with their wings, but they also have bacon/cheese/ranch fries (a better trio than LeBron, Wade, Bosh or any other combo of 3), potato skins, 4 different flavored shakes, and apple pies. What kills me about Checkers is that there isn't one close by. I know they're mostly down south, but move up north! Bristol did get one so I'm thrilled about that, but Enfield, CT was rumored to get one a year ago and we got nothin! If the food isn't accessible then how can it be the champion?
Fatburger is such a great name for a fast food place. Again, when most people think of fast food they think of a burger, most likely a Big Mac or something from McDonalds. Fatburger makes it very easy to decipher what they're good at. They take an ordinary burger and make it fat. How fat? Well let's just say you order by the size of the burger you want similar to how you would order a new shirt. You're more than welcomed to order a small, medium, or large, but if you want to hang with the big boys you bypass those baby options and order the XXL or the XXXL (pretty sure the XL doesn't exist). We're talking 16 and 24 ounces of meat respectively. 100% pure lean beef which will run you about 2000 calories if you're into counting those things. Fatburger also has shakes, chicken options, and hot dogs, but who would go to a place named Fatburger and not get a burger? Terrorists, that's who. But anyways, the XXXL burger is where it's at and I haven't had one since I was last in NJ or Vegas, but they are unreal.
A side note here is that Fatburger also has a salad on their menu. I'm not opposed to eating a salad. In fact, I love salads like a nice buffalo chicken one, but if I'm going to a fast food place a salad is the farthest thing from mind. But props to Fatburger because their "Fat Salad" actually has bacon and cheese on it. Still too much green for a place like this.
A side note here is that Fatburger also has a salad on their menu. I'm not opposed to eating a salad. In fact, I love salads like a nice buffalo chicken one, but if I'm going to a fast food place a salad is the farthest thing from mind. But props to Fatburger because their "Fat Salad" actually has bacon and cheese on it. Still too much green for a place like this.
What a tournament this would be. I think this would be a nice summer project to actually eat at all of the places in my brackets over the summer to really see who is the best of the best and deserves to be crowned champion. If that's the case then I might need to expand and bring the Elite 8 teams back in just so I have an excuse to eat more of this unhealthy yet insanely delicious food. Speaking of the Elite 8, those on the outside looking in were The Counter (there's one in West Hartford that's really good, but I'm not sure if there are more locations), Ted's (featured on Man v. Food for their steamed cheeseburgers which I was not really impressed with), Johnny Rockets, and Moe's.
Finding a champion is a lot tougher than people might think. Going into this I thought I had a clear cut winner in Five Guys, but after digging deep in my memory banks, looking at the menus, and reflecting on every detail of my past experiences with these places, the decision got a lot tougher. I can tell you that Chipotle had a lot of work to do in order to make it to the top. In the fast food world, burritos have a tough battle, but it held its own. At the same time it also ranks #4 on the list because a burrito can't compete with a juicy, cheesy, bacon cheeseburger.
Fatburger was next to go mainly due to the lack of locations in the area. I feel like I've become pen-pals with Fatburger because it's been so long since I've had one. And I know I said that Checkers doesn't have a lot of locations in the area, but Bristol really isn't that far away and the closest Fatburger is in NJ.
That leaves us with a championship match up between Five Guys and Checkers. One of the best, most consistently delicious burgers in the game coupled with bangin Cajun fries and bonus fries takes on a challenger who is well versed in multiple areas, not just the burger business. If Five Guys' burger beats a burger at Checkers than the fries at Checkers beat the fries at Five Guys. I feel like you can switch that statement around and it can be true too because that Bacon Roadhouse burger is no joke. But if that's the case then the choice is clear. Checkers cuts down the nets and is the Champion due in large part to its bench players aka wings, shakes, and so on. Depth is key in my world because I might go to a fast food place for a burger, but when I get to the register my brain turns off and I end up ordering 5-10 things. Checkers would provide me with a well balanced meal and it would cost significantly less there than at Five Guys.
Finding a champion is a lot tougher than people might think. Going into this I thought I had a clear cut winner in Five Guys, but after digging deep in my memory banks, looking at the menus, and reflecting on every detail of my past experiences with these places, the decision got a lot tougher. I can tell you that Chipotle had a lot of work to do in order to make it to the top. In the fast food world, burritos have a tough battle, but it held its own. At the same time it also ranks #4 on the list because a burrito can't compete with a juicy, cheesy, bacon cheeseburger.
Fatburger was next to go mainly due to the lack of locations in the area. I feel like I've become pen-pals with Fatburger because it's been so long since I've had one. And I know I said that Checkers doesn't have a lot of locations in the area, but Bristol really isn't that far away and the closest Fatburger is in NJ.
That leaves us with a championship match up between Five Guys and Checkers. One of the best, most consistently delicious burgers in the game coupled with bangin Cajun fries and bonus fries takes on a challenger who is well versed in multiple areas, not just the burger business. If Five Guys' burger beats a burger at Checkers than the fries at Checkers beat the fries at Five Guys. I feel like you can switch that statement around and it can be true too because that Bacon Roadhouse burger is no joke. But if that's the case then the choice is clear. Checkers cuts down the nets and is the Champion due in large part to its bench players aka wings, shakes, and so on. Depth is key in my world because I might go to a fast food place for a burger, but when I get to the register my brain turns off and I end up ordering 5-10 things. Checkers would provide me with a well balanced meal and it would cost significantly less there than at Five Guys.
Yes I do need to eat Checkers... yes I do. And if I come to you I know I'll be full afterwards unlike Five Guys.
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