Final Four - Fast Food

It's that time of the year!  March Madness has taken a field of 64 (technically 68) teams and after a series of intense, nail biting games, we are now left with the Final Four of Michigan, Syracuse, Louisville, and Wichita State.  Did I see this coming?  Absolutely not.  Did you?  No way.  If you claim you did then you're a liar because no one I know could of accurately predicted this Final Four.  But the Final Four gave me an idea for a few posts because someone recently asked me what my favorite restaurant was and I had to stop and really put some thought into it.  So for my sanity and for your reading pleasure, I will bring to you a series of posts that deciphers what my Final Four is for a particular topic and who my ultimate champion of champions is!  Obviously with the title of this post you know that Fast Food is up first!

Up first is the consensus #1 of the tournament in McDonalds.  When someone thinks of fast food they usually think of McDonalds first and then the competitors follow.  It's almost like the term fast food is synonymous with McDonalds.  "Do you wanna grab some McDonalds?" <---- that to me means "Do you wanna grab some fast food?"  I have no factual information to backup what I'm about to say, but McDonalds was the first fast food chain to revolutionize the game when it debuted the Dollar Menu.  This bracket would be over before it started if other chains didn't pickup on this trend because I used to buy 7 double cheeseburgers freshman year of college and beast them all with the help of their Chicken Select Buffalo Sauce.  BUT, and this is a HUGE BUT, they have since removed the double cheeseburger and now have the McDouble on the Dollar Menu.  Not a big deal, right?  WRONG.  That extra piece of cheese is critical to my burger enjoying experience and now I have to pay an extra $0.20 for it?  COME ON NOW!  That might sound cheap, but it's not.  What's cheap is charging an extra $0.20 for a slice of cheese!  But at the end of the day, McDonalds has withstood the test of time and has been a constant powerhouse in the fast food industry.

Next up is the BK Lounge!  Something that hits me right out of the gate with BK is the fact that I was crowned a king countless times as a kid growing up.  The fact that they literally have crowns for kids (and technically adults because I have been crowned within the past year) is awesome.  But beyond that, Burger King might have the best bacon in the game.  Now I know there are a lot of haters out there that will immediately say the word BACONATOR to me, but P the B's (pump the brakes) for a second.  Have you had a QUAD STACKER?  They don't even but that on the menu anymore!  Burger King legit removed the Quad Stack from the menu because it was too much awesomeness for one human being to handle.  So, naturally I ask if they still have the Quad Stack every time I go in to a BK and they say that they still serve it, but they just don't advertise it.  Talk about a solid pound or more of meaty cheesy bacon goodness.  I'm drooling just thinking about it.  And I can't talk about BK without showing some love for the Rodeo Burger and the DUTCH APPLE PIE.  A cheeseburger with onion rings and BBQ sauce already on it?  YUPP.  Oh, you want dessert?  How about a DAP?!  Warm apple pie in your face!  And this apple pie murders the one at Mickey D's and if you say otherwise then you're just an ignorant fool.  Also, best french fries in the bracket, but I'd have to say that my bill is always the highest when I go here in comparison to the rest.

If I had a dollar for every time I went to Wendy's in high school I most likely could retire.  Wish I was joking, but roughly 75% of the money I made while working during school went to buying Wendy's.  I'd say 3 times a week my friends and I would venture to Thomaston Ave in Waterbury, CT so we could go inside and hang out while eating an unnecessary amount of food.  My standard order would be 2 Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers, 3 5-Piece Nuggets, a Medium Fry, and a Frosty (chocolate, none of this vanilla frosty nonsense).  Add a couple sides of BBQ and Honey Mustard sauce and I was good to go.  The beauty of Wendy's was the creativity that my friends and I brought.  One could never unwrap a Jr. Bacon and eat it.  You would first unwrap it, remove the bottom bun so you can strategically place 3-4 chicken nuggets, add sauce, put the burger with cheese and bacon back on, add a layer of fries, more sauce, and then close it back up and enjoy.  That made the meal so much more enjoyable, which is why I'll always have fond memories of Wendy's.  Oh, and as I alluded to earlier, they have a BACONATOR which is pretty boss.  But what's the deal with those salads?  Who goes to a fast food establishment with the intention to order salads?  Did the government force them to expand their healthy selections to try and offset how horrifically bad the Baconator is?  Tisk Tisk Wendy.  Fight the power next time!

Last, but certainly not least, is none other than the deliciousness that is Taco Bell.  This is going to shock some people, but for the longest time I was afraid of Taco Bell.  Never wanted it, never needed it.  It always looked like awful food to me because of how the meat was just scooped out of a tub.  Then I went to college and experienced it for the first time and it was love at second sight.  No idea what I was afraid of because Taco Bell to me is the exact same thing as any other fast food place where I can get meat and cheese, but just in a different format.  Instead of a bun I order a hard or soft shell.  Instead of BBQ or Honey Mustard I get Hot Sauce.  At first I was concerned about all the "vegetables" that come on these tacos, but that quickly changed when I realized you don't even notice them when you bite into one.  I also love the fact that they have a Grande Meal.  If 1 or 2 tacos isn't filling for you, why not get 10 (I think it's 12 now)?  Unfortunately there are two big drawbacks here.  The first thing would be a lack of dessert.  Cinnamon Twists?  Really?  That's what you're bringing to the table?  And the second would be the fountain drink selection.  What is up with that fruit punch?  I think it's Sierra Mist Fruit Punch or some crap like that.  If you're gonna offer fruit punch you offer HAWAIIAN PUNCH.  If not that then I can settle for Hi-C Flashin Fruit Punch, but the point remains that they dropped the ball big time here.

No matter what, these Final Four posts will be a toss up.  It might depend on the mood I'm in when writing these, it might depend on my most recent experience with each contender, but no matter what there is no "right" answer because they're all champions for making it this far.  At this time I'd like to give a round of applause for the honorable mentions that lost in the Elite 8 which were: Arby's Popeyes, Chick-fil-A, and KFC.  They put up good fights, but couldn't make it to the big dance.  I also want to make a distinction here because the above fast food chains are in a separate category than the likes of Five Guys, In and Out Burger, and so on.

Without further ado, the first CHAMPION of my Final Four is none other than Burger King!  This might come as a shock, but it's true!  Taco Bell finished 4th mainly because of what happens within 5 minutes of eating it (although they made a strong push with those new Dorito shells) and McDonald's, regardless of its history as a powerhouse in the fast food game, fell short because I'm still pissed that they removed the double cheeseburger from the Dollar Menu!  Those Fish McBite commercial are money though.

The championship was one for the record books and it was a good first one to have.  BK hits hard with a Quad Stacker, but Wendy's comes right back with the Baconator.  The edge goes to Wendy's with the nuggets, but BK has the fries.  I feel like I would take a Frosty over a DAP 9 times out of 10, but that's too close to call.  It really came down to the go-to cheap option here.  Jr. Bacon versus a Rodeo Burger.  BBQ sauce already comes on the burger with ONION RINGS where as a Jr. Bacon is just an infant version of a legit bacon cheeseburger.  Couple that with the fact that I can wear a crown while eating and BK is appropriately crowned the National Champion of Fast Food.

I also think the Burger King would demolish Wendy if they ever fought.  Not a fair fight and I'm also a tad afraid of the King so congrats BK!