Thanksgiving

I don't think I really need to explain a lot here. We all know what Thanksgiving means, but to me it means something a little bit more. I love the day because I get to see my awesome family, eat massive amounts of delicious food, and watch football, but I also love the day because of an unspoken challenge I have. I don't want to accept the challenge, I try to avoid it, but every year I end up attempting and completing the challenge of "can I make myself so overly uncomfortable that I need to lay down for extended periods of time to try and breathe normal again". It's not a fun game, but I play it every year on Thanksgiving and every year I'm victorious, and here's why:

First up is the antipasto where I go ham - Italian ham that is. Prosciutto, salami, pepperoni, like 3 kinds of cheeses, and a variety of veggies (HEALTHY). Drench everything in dressing and boom! And if that wasn't enough, this is where I throw back a minimum of 3 pieces of pepperoni bread and a ton of potato rolls. Those roles are lethal because they're so tiny! I'll butter one and pop it in my mouth like a Skittle and eat it before I finish buttering the next one.

This round of food is where I CLEAN UP. I actually cooked the sauce this year and did a pretty decent job if I do say so myself. Stuffed shells (or any other cheese filled pasta) are my weakness so I always eat more than the recommended serving of 1 or 2. Throw on a couple of meatballs and cover it all in grated cheese and that's what I'm all about. I made it clear that this round is where I CLEAN UP, so after the food is gone, I use a few of those heavenly potato rolls to clean up the remaining sauce on my plate. Just doing my part with the dishes.

BEER. Lots and beer throughout the day ranging from Magic Hat IPAs to Sam Adams Holiday Porters to Guinness to whatever else.

 

After a full 15 rounds we go to the judge's scorecard and he tells me the fight didn't even start yet. Those were all under card fights and now it's time for the main event: TURKEY. At this point I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open, breathing, and really functioning as a normal human being in any way. I'm having such a tough time with life that sitting down is a 5 minute process. But it's Thanksgiving so it's time to suck it up and get out there. Turkey, corn, stuffing, and ridiculously buttered and creamy homemade mashed potatoes. Every bite was so good but every bite brought me one step closer to falling asleep and not waking up again. I took care of just about everything before passing out on the couch like I was legit dead. Challenge Accepted and Challenge Complete. Oh, and after 45 minutes or so, it was time to go to my aunt and uncle's for dessert. It's a modern day miracle I'm able to write this post and I'm not still on the couch or in a hospital somewhere. Thanksgiving, you've done it again!