For those of you who don't know what goes into a Fast Food Gauntlet, let me fill you in. First, you can't do it alone because a) that would be sad, b) you shouldn't eat your feelings, and c) you need someone there to verify the Gauntlet. Once you and a friend decide that you're going to embark on such a quest, you just have to abide by these simple rules:
#1 - Thou shall visit AT LEAST 5 different fast food establishments
#2 - Thou shall order 2 items from each menu
#3 - Those 2 items must differ at each place (can't order 2 McChickens or 2 Whopper Jrs)
#4 - Each participant is only allowed one drink for the duration of the Gauntlet
#5 - There shall be no excessive breaking during the Gauntlet - when you arrive at a fast food place, park the car, get inside, order your food, eat your food, then leave and go to the next one and repeat the process (idea here is to not drag out the Gauntlet in order for you to digest)
#6 - No bathroom breaks
#7 - Sauces, although not required, are HEAVILY encouraged
#8 - The Gauntlet has to take place in an area where at least 5 fast food restaurants exist - Enfield is where I do mine, but ideally you don't want to drive more than 2-3 minutes to go from one place to the next - I personally park and walk to a few of them
Now that you know the rules, it's time for Drew and I to dig in! The first place we went to was McDonalds. When people think of fast food they usually think of Mickey D's so we felt like we had to start there. Referencing the rules, I parked my car outside of McDonalds and sprinted in so we could get this going. We each ordered a McDouble and a 4-piece McNugget and I of course got some sauce on the side. Drew may or may not have used some sauce throughout the Gauntlet, but I can only speak to my sauce intake and as you'll see, it was quite a lot. We made quick work of McDonalds and it was onto the next one!
Arby's was right next store so we left the car and jogged over. Two burger patties and four nuggets aren't enough to prevent us from doing a little bit of cardio. Neither of us are huge fans of Arby's (and their food is ridiculously pricey for fast food) so we each ordered a thing of curly fries and a chocolate chip cookie. Now I know there will be some people out there questioning the ordering of a cookie, but we're not trying to spend $10 at every place we go to and there is nothing wrong with a cookie. Sometimes you need to think strategically here (unlike the first time I did a Gauntlet and ordered a Famous Bowl from KFC right in the middle of the quest and almost died at the end). Either way I grabbed some ranch and we threw this back no problem.
Next up was a stop at the BK Lounge. Drew went left with a Whopper Jr. and I went right with a Bacon Burger or a Rodeo Burger. I forget to be honest because all the meat and cheese kind of blurs together at some point. We did both get a Dutch Apple Pie aka a DAP. I don't think I've ever been to a BK and not ordered a DAP. Scratch that, there was one time I did that and that was when I went just to order the new Bacon Sundae over the summer (which was highly disappointing). But BK was delicious and off we went!
Time wise we're looking at about 20 minutes or so at this point. We hit up three fast food places, but we ran through them quick. This is where normal men start to break because it's around the halfway point and the end isn't really in sight. Drew was bending, but the kid's will never broke. Was it because he was attempting a Gauntlet with a living legend aka the creator of such a fantastic food challenge? Quite possibly, but I'd like to think it's because the kid has heart. So when we got to Wendy's he sucked it up and ordered a 5-piece nugget with fries to my 5-piece spicy nugget (not as good as the original ones) and a frosty. Similar to BK, I don't think I can walk into a Wendy's and not come out with a chocolate Frosty. Not a great move for the Gauntlet because it's a cold milkshake and I needed to slug it back, but the brain freeze was worth it.
What up soft taco and hard taco! Decisions in life are tough so instead of making a tough decision, I find loop holes and get both options! Not a bad move on my part, but this was stop #5 and I started to feel pretty full. Drew definitely felt full as evidenced by him opting for his drink, but he also grabbed a soft taco which means he's still in the game!
Essentially this is the whipped cream and cherry on top of the Gauntlet. You only need to visit 5 places, which isn't that bad, but that was also the rule for the original Gauntlet. For those of you who want to know, the original Fast Food Gauntlet took place in 2009 when Craig Valvo, Brian Livingstone, and myself took on the challenge right before I got on a plane to Vegas. NOT A GOOD IDEA. Anyways, we only did 5 places back then, but the challenge has since evolved and when I did the Gauntlet 2.0 with Mike Dekanchuk, Brian Baum, and Derek Donofrio, we expanded it to 6 places with Pizza Hut being included. In version 2.0, both Derek and Baum threw in the towel and quit, but Mike and I persevered and completed the challenge, much like Drew and I did with the Gauntlet 3.0. We actually were too excited to take a picture at the beginning and dug right in. A slice of pepperoni and a slice of cheese a piece and #6 was in the books!
Now we're just showing off. The Gauntlet has been beaten, but there's nothing wrong with pushing the limits and setting new heights. There really isn't another fast food place in Enfield that was close so we made due with Dunks. Drew got a cheese thingy and a munchkin (YES IT COUNTS) and I got a munckin as well but decided to flex the competitive eating muscle and get a large caramel iced coffee. What a dumb ass move that was. Remember, there is no dilly dallying when it comes to the Gauntlet so I had to pound a large iced coffee. Not a fun time, but the deed was done and we were victorious!
You always have to have proof so those are our receipts. Not sure how much we spent in total, but it's always worth it as long as you don't think about how much crap you just ingested. Either way I think the Gauntlet 4.0 will be near impossible because of how high we're setting this bar. We most likely will need to visit 8 places, eliminate the drink, or require each food item to be of a greater size and stature in order to keep improving upon the legendary quest.
If you ever want to embark on a journey of your own and need a champion of champions like myself to go into battle with you let me know! I will lead you in the arena much like Gannicus lead so many gladiators in his time and burgers will fall to our bellies like the blood of fallen Romans on the sands! (I really like the show Spartacus so start watching it if you haven't already!)
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