Bring On 2014

ENOUGH with the "looking back, 2013 was a great year because..." nonsense!  How are you gonna enjoy the present and look forward to the future when you're busy analyzing the past?  Not how I live my life and not how I'll live in 2014.  So, instead of drumming up old feelings about past conquests of 2013 (I'm happy to say I've had a few), I'm going to forecast a few marquee events that'll be coming up next year that I'll be looking forward too (and yes, they all will relate to food)!

First things first - NEED TO GO BACK TO DINOSAUR BBQ.  This is not a want, this is a NEED.  If you've read my last post you know how much I enjoyed my first experience, so naturally I need to revisit the promise land of glorious BBQ.  There are more meats and sides on that menu that I NEED to experience so I'm gonna get my ass there sooner rather than later.

Second, I will embark on yet another Fast Food Gauntlet.  In my 26 years of life, I have tempted fate three times by attempting a Fast Food Gauntlet and three times I was able to escape with my life and become victorious.  The last one, Fast Food Gauntlet 3.0 (with none other than Drew Guarino), was my crowning achievement.  It took the original FFG (respect to Craig Valvo and Brian "Fruit Cup at Wendy's" Livingstone) and put it to shame while pushing the limits for the FFG 2.0 (credit to Mike Dekanchuk for finishing with me and Derek Donofrio and Brian Baum for trying, yet failing) past what a normal person can handle.  The Fast Food Gauntlet 4.0 will reach even further into the heavens with dreams of grabbing even more glory from the gods.  Instead of visiting 7 establishments to dine on the fine foods they offer, we will attempt to visit 8, yes 8 different fast food restaurants and order 2 things from each.  I'm no mathematician, but that's 16 fast food items!  May God have mercy on my soul and the souls of those brave individuals that dare to tempt fate yet again with me (those brave individuals will be my new Admissions Office at WCSU that'll include, but not limited to Francesca "I can eat a donut in 15 seconds" Testa, Nicki "Double Clap-Pound" Kullberg, Zach "I don't think he knows he's definitely doing this yet" Frangos, and Laura "is this Paleo?" Scaviola).

The third thing I vow to accomplish this year is to build more mac & cheese into my meals.  Although delicious on its own, have you ever tried straying from the norm and adding crazy things to your mac & cheese or even adding mac & cheese to whatever you're eating?  I remember from my youth that one of my favorite meals was mac & cheese and hot dogs.  You might think that's weird, gross, a poor man's meal, or some other derogatory term, but the key word you're missing is delicious.  Not sure why, but I love it and love the idea of taking two great things, fusing them together, and making one amazing creation.  The year of 2014 will see this cheesy goop of gold enter my stomach at an alarming rate.

Last, but certainly not least, is my general commitment to blog more often.  I've let readers down in the past by taking unexpected leaves of absence, but no more!  Priorities have been shifted and food/eating has reclaimed its rightful spot at the top!  Don't you worry my friends, I'm back and I'm hungrier than ever.

Side note -  if I die in 2014 from a heart attack or some other food related death, please bring packages of bacon to my funeral.  You might think I'm kidding, but in case I wake up in the casket after being buried I wouldn't mind snacking on some bacon and I've never eaten raw bacon before... always kind of wondered what that would taste like and how my body would react to it.

Back From Retirement!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm back!  I'm sure Eminem's song "I'm Back" is playing in your minds and that's ok because it's playing in my mind too!  My last blog post was many moons ago because I got pulled in this direction and that direction, but life has gotten less stressful and less busy (I say that, but I'm sure it'll pick up soon) so I now find myself with extra time to thing about food which means I need to start flushing these thoughts out there for whoever chooses to read them.

This year is almost over, so I won't hop back into things until the new year officially begins, so think of this as somewhat of a teaser trailer for an amazing movie that'll be coming out soon like Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier.  Can't wait for that to come out!

I've had a lot to be thankful for over this past year, the main thing being I haven't died yet from the food I've eaten, so I might as well hit the ground running in 2014 by trying so delicious delights!  While I start making my list of things I'll be partaking in this year, feel free to visit ilovebacon.com for some funny stuff that I happen to look at from time to time.  Also, if you have an idea for a food blog or would like to be a guest writer for a post, let me know!  I might as well get as much help as I can get breathing life back into this bad boy!

Final Four - "Better" Fast Food

My first Final Four featured food that is near and dear to my heart.  What I mean by that is that the food is literally near my heart because it's so bad for you that it sticks to my insides and will ultimately cause me to die of a heart attack at an early age....

Now that I've set the morbid tone for this post, let's dive right into the Final Four of "Better" Fast Food, which is also near and dear to my heart.  And when I say better, I'm essentially saying that the food costs a bit more and the employees that operate these fine establishments are just slightly more pleasant to deal with than the traditional fast food places of Mickey D's, BK, and so on.  And instead of making you read to see the "teams" that made it out of the Elite 8 and into the Final Four, I'll just tell you up front that the contenders are Five Guys, Chipotle, Checkers, and Fatburger.  Not gonna lie, this bracket might be tougher than the first one!

Five Guys is easily the most expensive contender in the Final Four.  For someone like me it is near impossible to go to a Five Guys and not spend between $10-$15.  That's not a ton of money to spend on a meal, but you'd expect to pay that at a chain restaurant and not a fast food place.  Going with that, I'm never fully satisfied when I leave because I'm not full.  I'll go up to the counter, order my bacon cheeseburger with a bunch of stuff on it (love the fact that their cheeseburger is actually a double cheeseburger and a Jr. cheeseburger is a single), get a medium order of Cajun fries, and then stand for 5-10 minutes and wait to get my grease stained bag.  Then I'll sit down and go beast mode on it because the food there is legit incredible and I'll be done eating in half the time it took me to stand in line, order my food, and sit down with it.  That's not the bad part.  The bad part is that after I demolish the burger and fries I always feel like I just got there.  No knowledge of what just happened, no feeling like I just ate, no sense of being full.  I mean, it's not like I go there and pretend to eat, but I literally never feel full after eating Five Guys. 

Sounds like a lot of negatives, but their burgers are some of the best burgers I've ever eaten.  There are other rare "better" fast food places like Shake Shack and Smashburger that can hang with Five Guys, but not everyone who reads this blog will know those places so Five Guys can stand alone.  One other nugget of information is that when you go to a Five Guys, you should never order anything larger than a small or medium fry.  If you do, no offense, but you're a moron.  No matter what, you're going to get the equivalent of a large fry or greater.  The fact that they fill your fry cup up then add an extra shovel full of fries to the top of your bag brings tears to my eyes.  Also, I do not care for the peanuts they have... just thought I should mention it.

Chipotle brings a little spice to this bracket similar to what Taco Bell did for the last one.  In a battle of burgers, this Cinderella has the potential to make it all the way.  The big reason why I like Chipotle is simple.  I order exactly what I want when I want it and it's made fresh right in front of me.  There's no need to worry about mystery meat or rat burgers or any of that crap here.  Let me warm up a nice flour tortilla, throw some chicken AND steak (some decisions in life are too tough), vegetables (if you're into that kind of thing), some rice, beans, and guacamole, and essentially have a burrito that can be mistaken for a tiny infant baby.  The downside here is that's all I get.  No sides, no desserts, nothing special outside of a pretty hefty burrito.  It's definitely filling, especially when you load it up like I do, but there's nothing flashy here.  Chipotle is a grind it out, defensive minded team made up of role players that just goes out there, gets the job done, and goes home.

If you haven't eaten at Checkers then I seriously don't want to be your friend.  You might laugh at what I just said, but I mean it.  I'll actually be nice and give you two options.  #1- never speak to me again.  #2- text, call, email, face-time, smoke signal, send a carrier pigeon, page me, write a letter, or whatever you can think of to get in touch with me and we can go to Checkers together and thus I won't hate you anymore.

There are so many things that I love about Checkers, but to sum it up in one word, Checkers has options.  You know what you're going to get when you go to Five Guys or Chipotle, but Checkers is a fantasy land where the options soar as high as your meat and cheese filled dreams.  They have the top Player of the Year candidate in a little somethin somethin they call the Bacon Roadhouse.  Google an image of that IMMEDIATELY because it's a double bacon cheeseburger on I believe toasted sourdough bread with BBQ sauce on the bottom, onion straws on top, with some sort of ranch based sauce on the ceiling.  If that doesn't wet your whistle you could also go with the proven veteran of the team in the Baconzilla.

Beyond burgers, Checkers has a variety of chicken and fish inspired sandwiches that I don't really pay attention to, but they also have WINGS.  You might be skeptical, but they make their wings with Frank's Hot Sauce.  No idea why every place on Earth that serves food doesn't offer Frank's, but Checkers does.  They bring the fire with their wings, but they also have bacon/cheese/ranch fries (a better trio than LeBron, Wade, Bosh or any other combo of 3), potato skins, 4 different flavored shakes, and apple pies.  What kills me about Checkers is that there isn't one close by.  I know they're mostly down south, but move up north!  Bristol did get one so I'm thrilled about that, but Enfield, CT was rumored to get one a year ago and we got nothin!  If the food isn't accessible then how can it be the champion?

Fatburger is such a great name for a fast food place.  Again, when most people think of fast food they think of a burger, most likely a Big Mac or something from McDonalds.  Fatburger makes it very easy to decipher what they're good at.  They take an ordinary burger and make it fat.  How fat?  Well let's just say you order by the size of the burger you want similar to how you would order a new shirt.  You're more than welcomed to order a small, medium, or large, but if you want to hang with the big boys you bypass those baby options and order the XXL or the XXXL (pretty sure the XL doesn't exist).  We're talking 16 and 24 ounces of meat respectively.  100% pure lean beef which will run you about 2000 calories if you're into counting those things.  Fatburger also has shakes, chicken options, and hot dogs, but who would go to a place named Fatburger and not get a burger?  Terrorists, that's who.  But anyways, the XXXL burger is where it's at and I haven't had one since I was last in NJ or Vegas, but they are unreal.

A side note here is that Fatburger also has a salad on their menu.  I'm not opposed to eating a salad.  In fact, I love salads like a nice buffalo chicken one, but if I'm going to a fast food place a salad is the farthest thing from mind.  But props to Fatburger because their "Fat Salad" actually has bacon and cheese on it.  Still too much green for a place like this.

What a tournament this would be.  I think this would be a nice summer project to actually eat at all of the places in my brackets over the summer to really see who is the best of the best and deserves to be crowned champion.  If that's the case then I might need to expand and bring the Elite 8 teams back in just so I have an excuse to eat more of this unhealthy yet insanely delicious food.  Speaking of the Elite 8, those on the outside looking in were The Counter (there's one in West Hartford that's really good, but I'm not sure if there are more locations), Ted's (featured on Man v. Food for their steamed cheeseburgers which I was not really impressed with), Johnny Rockets, and Moe's.

Finding a champion is a lot tougher than people might think.  Going into this I thought I had a clear cut winner in Five Guys, but after digging deep in my memory banks, looking at the menus, and reflecting on every detail of my past experiences with these places, the decision got a lot tougher.  I can tell you that Chipotle had a lot of work to do in order to make it to the top.  In the fast food world, burritos have a tough battle, but it held its own.  At the same time it also ranks #4 on the list because a burrito can't compete with a juicy, cheesy, bacon cheeseburger.

Fatburger was next to go mainly due to the lack of locations in the area.  I feel like I've become pen-pals with Fatburger because it's been so long since I've had one.  And I know I said that Checkers doesn't have a lot of locations in the area, but Bristol really isn't that far away and the closest Fatburger is in NJ.

That leaves us with a championship match up between Five Guys and Checkers.  One of the best, most consistently delicious burgers in the game coupled with bangin Cajun fries and bonus fries takes on a challenger who is well versed in multiple areas, not just the burger business.  If Five Guys' burger beats a burger at Checkers than the fries at Checkers beat the fries at Five Guys.  I feel like you can switch that statement around and it can be true too because that Bacon Roadhouse burger is no joke.  But if that's the case then the choice is clear.  Checkers cuts down the nets and is the Champion due in large part to its bench players aka wings, shakes, and so on.  Depth is key in my world because I might go to a fast food place for a burger, but when I get to the register my brain turns off and I end up ordering 5-10 things.  Checkers would provide me with a well balanced meal and it would cost significantly less there than at Five Guys.

Yes I do need to eat Checkers... yes I do.  And if I come to you I know I'll be full afterwards unlike Five Guys.

Final Four - Fast Food

It's that time of the year!  March Madness has taken a field of 64 (technically 68) teams and after a series of intense, nail biting games, we are now left with the Final Four of Michigan, Syracuse, Louisville, and Wichita State.  Did I see this coming?  Absolutely not.  Did you?  No way.  If you claim you did then you're a liar because no one I know could of accurately predicted this Final Four.  But the Final Four gave me an idea for a few posts because someone recently asked me what my favorite restaurant was and I had to stop and really put some thought into it.  So for my sanity and for your reading pleasure, I will bring to you a series of posts that deciphers what my Final Four is for a particular topic and who my ultimate champion of champions is!  Obviously with the title of this post you know that Fast Food is up first!

Up first is the consensus #1 of the tournament in McDonalds.  When someone thinks of fast food they usually think of McDonalds first and then the competitors follow.  It's almost like the term fast food is synonymous with McDonalds.  "Do you wanna grab some McDonalds?" <---- that to me means "Do you wanna grab some fast food?"  I have no factual information to backup what I'm about to say, but McDonalds was the first fast food chain to revolutionize the game when it debuted the Dollar Menu.  This bracket would be over before it started if other chains didn't pickup on this trend because I used to buy 7 double cheeseburgers freshman year of college and beast them all with the help of their Chicken Select Buffalo Sauce.  BUT, and this is a HUGE BUT, they have since removed the double cheeseburger and now have the McDouble on the Dollar Menu.  Not a big deal, right?  WRONG.  That extra piece of cheese is critical to my burger enjoying experience and now I have to pay an extra $0.20 for it?  COME ON NOW!  That might sound cheap, but it's not.  What's cheap is charging an extra $0.20 for a slice of cheese!  But at the end of the day, McDonalds has withstood the test of time and has been a constant powerhouse in the fast food industry.

Next up is the BK Lounge!  Something that hits me right out of the gate with BK is the fact that I was crowned a king countless times as a kid growing up.  The fact that they literally have crowns for kids (and technically adults because I have been crowned within the past year) is awesome.  But beyond that, Burger King might have the best bacon in the game.  Now I know there are a lot of haters out there that will immediately say the word BACONATOR to me, but P the B's (pump the brakes) for a second.  Have you had a QUAD STACKER?  They don't even but that on the menu anymore!  Burger King legit removed the Quad Stack from the menu because it was too much awesomeness for one human being to handle.  So, naturally I ask if they still have the Quad Stack every time I go in to a BK and they say that they still serve it, but they just don't advertise it.  Talk about a solid pound or more of meaty cheesy bacon goodness.  I'm drooling just thinking about it.  And I can't talk about BK without showing some love for the Rodeo Burger and the DUTCH APPLE PIE.  A cheeseburger with onion rings and BBQ sauce already on it?  YUPP.  Oh, you want dessert?  How about a DAP?!  Warm apple pie in your face!  And this apple pie murders the one at Mickey D's and if you say otherwise then you're just an ignorant fool.  Also, best french fries in the bracket, but I'd have to say that my bill is always the highest when I go here in comparison to the rest.

If I had a dollar for every time I went to Wendy's in high school I most likely could retire.  Wish I was joking, but roughly 75% of the money I made while working during school went to buying Wendy's.  I'd say 3 times a week my friends and I would venture to Thomaston Ave in Waterbury, CT so we could go inside and hang out while eating an unnecessary amount of food.  My standard order would be 2 Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers, 3 5-Piece Nuggets, a Medium Fry, and a Frosty (chocolate, none of this vanilla frosty nonsense).  Add a couple sides of BBQ and Honey Mustard sauce and I was good to go.  The beauty of Wendy's was the creativity that my friends and I brought.  One could never unwrap a Jr. Bacon and eat it.  You would first unwrap it, remove the bottom bun so you can strategically place 3-4 chicken nuggets, add sauce, put the burger with cheese and bacon back on, add a layer of fries, more sauce, and then close it back up and enjoy.  That made the meal so much more enjoyable, which is why I'll always have fond memories of Wendy's.  Oh, and as I alluded to earlier, they have a BACONATOR which is pretty boss.  But what's the deal with those salads?  Who goes to a fast food establishment with the intention to order salads?  Did the government force them to expand their healthy selections to try and offset how horrifically bad the Baconator is?  Tisk Tisk Wendy.  Fight the power next time!

Last, but certainly not least, is none other than the deliciousness that is Taco Bell.  This is going to shock some people, but for the longest time I was afraid of Taco Bell.  Never wanted it, never needed it.  It always looked like awful food to me because of how the meat was just scooped out of a tub.  Then I went to college and experienced it for the first time and it was love at second sight.  No idea what I was afraid of because Taco Bell to me is the exact same thing as any other fast food place where I can get meat and cheese, but just in a different format.  Instead of a bun I order a hard or soft shell.  Instead of BBQ or Honey Mustard I get Hot Sauce.  At first I was concerned about all the "vegetables" that come on these tacos, but that quickly changed when I realized you don't even notice them when you bite into one.  I also love the fact that they have a Grande Meal.  If 1 or 2 tacos isn't filling for you, why not get 10 (I think it's 12 now)?  Unfortunately there are two big drawbacks here.  The first thing would be a lack of dessert.  Cinnamon Twists?  Really?  That's what you're bringing to the table?  And the second would be the fountain drink selection.  What is up with that fruit punch?  I think it's Sierra Mist Fruit Punch or some crap like that.  If you're gonna offer fruit punch you offer HAWAIIAN PUNCH.  If not that then I can settle for Hi-C Flashin Fruit Punch, but the point remains that they dropped the ball big time here.

No matter what, these Final Four posts will be a toss up.  It might depend on the mood I'm in when writing these, it might depend on my most recent experience with each contender, but no matter what there is no "right" answer because they're all champions for making it this far.  At this time I'd like to give a round of applause for the honorable mentions that lost in the Elite 8 which were: Arby's Popeyes, Chick-fil-A, and KFC.  They put up good fights, but couldn't make it to the big dance.  I also want to make a distinction here because the above fast food chains are in a separate category than the likes of Five Guys, In and Out Burger, and so on.

Without further ado, the first CHAMPION of my Final Four is none other than Burger King!  This might come as a shock, but it's true!  Taco Bell finished 4th mainly because of what happens within 5 minutes of eating it (although they made a strong push with those new Dorito shells) and McDonald's, regardless of its history as a powerhouse in the fast food game, fell short because I'm still pissed that they removed the double cheeseburger from the Dollar Menu!  Those Fish McBite commercial are money though.

The championship was one for the record books and it was a good first one to have.  BK hits hard with a Quad Stacker, but Wendy's comes right back with the Baconator.  The edge goes to Wendy's with the nuggets, but BK has the fries.  I feel like I would take a Frosty over a DAP 9 times out of 10, but that's too close to call.  It really came down to the go-to cheap option here.  Jr. Bacon versus a Rodeo Burger.  BBQ sauce already comes on the burger with ONION RINGS where as a Jr. Bacon is just an infant version of a legit bacon cheeseburger.  Couple that with the fact that I can wear a crown while eating and BK is appropriately crowned the National Champion of Fast Food.

I also think the Burger King would demolish Wendy if they ever fought.  Not a fair fight and I'm also a tad afraid of the King so congrats BK!

Today is Kinda like Christmas Eve

  

You might be asking yourself "What the hell is Brian talking about?" "How come he loves Christmas so much?" "Why hasn't he posted a blog in weeks?" "How did he get so tall?" "What happened to all the dinosaurs?"

All good questions deserving good answers and my response would be to completely avoid everything except for the first one because it leads into the reason why I'm writing this post.  Tomorrow is none other than March 21st aka the true start to one of my favorite times of the year; MARCH MADNESS. 

Nothing but college basketball from the wee hours of the morning until the dust settles in the evening.  On the eve of March Madness I barely get any sleep because of how excited I am, very similar to Christmas Eve.  So, since I never blogged about my Christmas festivities, the following pictures are from one of the greatest Christmas Eve meals I have ever had thanks to my loving family.

(Part of me wants to just post these pictures and let them do the talking, but the other part of me is too excited about this food for me not to add a few thoughts)

How do you warm up for a meal?  With meats and cheese of course.

LOOK AT THAT PRESENTATION!  If I remember correctly, I had 7 of these bad boys.  Who would have thought they'd be so good!

Nothing wrong with a few drinks around the holidays.  Tomorrow and the weekend will most likely feature a variety of beers while I take in all of the college basketball games, but on Christmas Eve I had a little bit of this and a little bit of that.  My grandfather also keeps the good stuff hidden below and probably thought I wouldn't find it... but I did!

Essentially the Duke Blue Devils of the meal.  Fried Dough is something that always shows up at the meal and is expected to be there, but no one thinks about it as the main event.  Granted, it's served after the antipasto and before the fish and all that good stuff, but it's my favorite part of the meal and can easily stand alone as the best of the best aka DUKE.

Egg Nog.  Why not?

Boom.

Orange slices are there to give me the necessary vitamins to keep such an aggressive pace at the dinner table.  Eating them is kind of like taking a breather while running a marathon.

Now I'm back at it!

Crazy eyes in that picture, but you try posing while a piece of fried dough is coming your way.  Not as easy as you think.

Fishy Fishayyyyyy

Bacon in the corn.  This is how you revolutionize the side dish game.

Chicken with prosciutto, fried eggplant, and fresh mozz on top.  The best part about this was that my aunt had so much left over that I took an entire tray home with me and ate this for lunch or dinner for a week straight.  Not. Mad. About. It.

Anddddddddddd dessert time!

At this point I was sleeping.  No joke I ate myself into a slumber and was able to wake up just in time for a picture, a glass of milk, and a few cookies.  After that it was right back to the recliner in the living room to lay down and attempt to breathe normally again.

Hopefully you've enjoyed this completely random yet in my world 100% topical post.  As I leave my office to go home and enjoy March Madness Eve I hope you and yours can do the same.  The madness begins tomorrow so we should all remember to wear royal blue, cheer for Duke no matter what (even if they;re not on), and pray that my bracket comes through and wins me some money!!

Dinosaur BBQ

In honor of this weekend and how I was supposed to go to Syracuse to see a bunch of my friends from the field of Admissions, I figured now would be as good of time as any to blog about my experience at Dinosaur BBQ.

Tons of people have recommended this place because they know I like BBQ so there was a lot of hype around it.  At first glance I wasn't impressed.  The outside of the place in Syracuse looks like a weird shack/barn hybrid, but it did have some cool artwork on the outside seen below.

When did dinosaurs learn how to ride motorcycles?  And how come that girl isn't helping "Old Man Winter"?  Is she really just going to let him get attacked by that little dinosaur right in front of her?

And it looks like this same girl is serving all of these dinos... maybe run away instead?  I mean they're dinosaurs.  They're probably going to eat you after they eat the food your bringing them because they're dinosaurs.  Be a little smarter.

At least this dinosaur knows his place and is serving instead of eating.

Anyways, the inside of the place was nicer than the outside, but not by much.  In fact, it was really cramped and crowded because the place is so popular.  I'm pretty sure the place opened at noon and we got there at 11:59am and couldn't sit down anywhere but the bar.  No biggie there, but within 2 minutes of us sitting down there were 40+ people standing behind us waiting for a table or a spot at the bar to open up.

So to start my Dinosaur BBQ experience I sampled a few beers on tap.  Can I remember what they were?  Absolutely not, but I know they got better as I progressed through my flight.  I'd say beer was reasonably priced, but I didn't come for that.  I came for what's pictured below.

PULLED PORK.  Forget about that pool of gravy that you just want to drown yourself in.  Forget about that mac and cheese that had some crazy spices intertwined with it.  Forget about that corner piece of cornbread.  The pulled pork was off the chain.  It was so tender and juicy that it melted in my mouth.  After the first bite I knew why so many people came to this place and why so many people kept OPENING THE DAMM DOOR AND LETTING THE FREEZING COLD AIR IN.  The BBQ was delicious!  And props to Drew for sharing some of his BBQ Beef Brisket with me because that was fatty and delicious too.  I'd say the meat there was some of the best meat I've had at a BBQ place.

Going back to the sides, the cornbread was good, not great.  I don't think any cornbread can compare to the one at Spicy's on Long Island (which I will hopefully blog about later).  I ate my piece and then Drew's EXTRA ONE THAT HE GOT, but it could have been better.  The mac and cheese had this crazy spice to it that I've never tasted before.  No idea where it came from or how it happened, but it was so different that I loved it and hated it at the same time.  That's something that you just need to try and judge for yourself.  And let's not forget about the mashed potato swimming pool.  Next to the pulled pork, this was the best part of the dish.  I literally wanted to shrink down to a mini version of myself and bathe in it.  If I go back (when I go back), I plan on getting all of my sides as mashed potatoes with gravy because it was that good.

GO HERE.

The Best Snapple

Each person has their favorite Snapple, but I'm here to tell you, based off of scientific facts and mathematical derivations, that Mango Madness is the best flavor. Really think about this for a second. When you go to Stop & Shop and wanna buy a case or a 12-pack of Snapple, don't you wanna get Mango Madness? Oh, but you can't because they're not sold in 6-packs or up in grocery stores. Snapple knows it would cause mass hysteria if they sold them in bulk and they wouldn't be able to keep up with demand so Mango Madness has to remain more of a rarity.

 

If you think Pink Lemonade or the regular Iced Tea is the best then you sir (or madam) are wrong.



This is AMERICA

I've stumbled across quite a few hilarious images of AMERICAN related things that really made me laugh that I needed to share.

All restaurants should have steaks that look like America.  Just imagine sitting down at a nice restaurant and ordering "The America... Medium".  I get goosebumps looking at this hunk of meat wishing I could order it.

This is just downright funny!  Our country is so food focused that I bet quite a few houses were sold because some fat asses thought "Free Pizza??  I mean, we do need a new house so why not?"

Hahahahahahahaha... I love the idea here, but toothpaste on a hot dog might be where I draw the line.  No one wants to bite into a hot dog and be reminded of brushing their teeth.  I can't knock the hustle, but even American themed toothpaste has no place on a hot dog.

Unfortunately Billy Bob pictured above is no longer with us.  He suffered a heart attack after his attempt to eat the Sparkle Tower Burger, but he went down doing what he loved.  Honestly, that's completely made up, but you gotta admit, that could have happened.  This guy looks like the last guy that needs to be attempting a burger challenge.  The poor guy is a sneeze away from having a stroke, but in 'MERICA we respect that!

I love cheese, but really?  Come on now!

  

I'm going to close out this post with a picture of my wife in 80 years.  Yes, that puts her at approximately 100-110 years old, but she will love bacon as much as me.  Ok probably not as much as me, but my future wife won't be afraid of a little BLT like this.

The Original Buffalo Wing

This was more or less a coming home party for me because of how many wings I've inhaled over the years.  What you are about to lay eyes on is the tale of me going to the home of the original buffalo wing!  There was a ton of note worthy things that happened to me while visiting Buffalo, NY, but this is near the top of the list (nothing beats meeting the majority of the Bruins!!!!).

The outside of the place was nothing special, but at the same time it could of looked like a shack and I still would have been excited.  This is the home of the ORIGINAL BUFFALO WING aka my eyes saw a mansion instead of this barn looking building.  Knowing that I was about to feast on such a legendary treasure made my eyes tear up with joy.

Up first was a cup of buffalo chicken soup.  I saw it on the menu and had to ask about it.  Our waitress gave it a good review so my hands were tied and I had to order it.  Spoiler Alert here - this was the best part of the meal.  Not that the wings I'm about to talk about were bad, but this soup was amazing.  It had the right amount of heat mixed with creamy goodness mixed with chunks of tender chicken.  One of the best soups I have ever had to be honest.  The only soup that can hold its own in a toe to toe match up with this buffalo chicken soup would be a bowl of New England Clam Chowder, but I think the chowder would need to be in a bread bowl in order to beat it.  That's how highly I thought of this soup.  Top notch.

Then came the wings.  There were four of us so instead of us each ordering a dozen or whatever, we decided to get the biggest order they had which was a bucket of wings.  Kind of disappointed that the wings didn't come in a physical bucket, but they dumped roughly 50 of these bad boys on a pizza tray for us all to share.

Fontaine was clearly excited about them and rightfully so.  There were a ton of them and at the end of the day they were pretty damn good.  Tons of sauce, good amount of meat on the bones, and a nice pile for us to choose from.  But to be honest, they weren't anything special.  Would I eat them again?  Absolutely, but I doubt I'll ever get a craving for these particular wings.  I'd rather get an order of Kickin Buffalo Chicken Strips from Friendlys any day, but I'd also rather get that than most things in this world.  Overall I'd say the wings get a B to a B+ from me, but the experience of going there and having an original buffalo wing was an A- (due in large part to that soup).

And just because I took the picture and wanted to use it, take a look at this NO LOOK aerial shot I snapped: