You might be asking yourself, what the hell are the Weenie Awards? Well, the Weenie Awards are given out at random times when I am thoroughly disappointed in the performance of certain individuals who should be performing at a higher level. Bottom line here is that they, for some reason, SUCK and maybe earning them a Weenie Award will snap them out of their funk. There are 3 levels of Weenie Awards starting with the Junior Weenie, then stepping up a level to the Biggest Weenie, and somehow topping that is the King Weenie. You don't want these awards, so pray you don't get famous and piss me off enough to receive one of them.
First up is none other than Dez Bryant, WR for the Dallas Cowboys. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??? Dez looks absolutely nothing like he did in preseason and seems like a huge bust 3 weeks into the season. I drafted him in the majority of my fantasy football leagues as either my #1 WR or my #2 because I thought he was gonna explode this year, but I guess not. I even bought his jersey because I have him in so many leagues (similar to what I did last year with a certain QB to be named later on this list that led me to a few fantasy championships!!). Dez had a decent first game and then has gone MIA since. WAKE UP SWEETHEART!
I hate to put another guy I love on blast, but Antonio Gates clocks in at the #2 spot and gets the Biggest Weenie Award. It's Week 3 and you've already managed to miss a game where your backup steps in and grabs 3 touchdown passes. Come on now Gates. Side note: if you haven't realized, this list is about the 3 fantasy football players on my teams that have pissed me off the most thus far by not producing this year. It's not Week 4 and you have a total of 7 catches for 65 yards. Do you realize that's not a lot more than what I've done in the NFL this year? For the love of God please step it up!
Dez has been awful and Gates has been just as bad, if not worse. So who does that leave as the King Weenie through 3 weeks of football? It might not be entirely his fault, but Aaron Rodgers gets the nod. I feel like there was a catchy saying there that I missed... something like A-Rod gets the Weenie Nod, but whatever. Someone wanna tell me what the hell is going on here? I know his offensive line let him get murdered last night, but he's gotta play better than that too. Through 3 games he has 745 passing yards, a 3-2 TD:INT ratio, and 38 yards rushing. MARK SANCHEZ has thrown for more TDs that him!!! Granted, these aren't the worst numbers in the world, but he deserves the King Weenie Award because of how high he was drafted in most fantasy leagues and how he's producing like a 7th round QB instead of a 1st. In case you didn't stay up to watch the full game last night, he ended up with a pedestrian 223 yards on 26-39 passing. Forget about making funny commercials, Mr. Rodgers needs to go back to his neighborhood, gather up his little rat pack, and do a discount double check on their playbook to figure out why they're sucking so much.
So all in all this was more of a rant about football than about food, but hot dogs were reference so it counts. A food item will always find its way into my post.
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